The Art of Belonging: Finding Balance Between Me and Us
What if empowerment wasn’t just about standing alone, but about standing strong with the right people?
In modern self-help narratives, empowerment is often seen as an individual journey of breaking free. However, in many cultures, empowerment is deeply rooted in togetherness—support from family, friends, and community. The concept of gotong royong (mutual cooperation), strong family ties, and social networks emphasize that we rise together. When done right, community can be a source of empowerment rather than a restriction. But with this wisdom comes complexity. While community support is valuable, it can also create pressure and limit personal freedom. Many people struggle with family expectations, societal norms, and the need to please others, making it difficult to set boundaries without feeling selfish or ungrateful. How do we uphold the values of unity without losing sight of our own needs?
The Challenge of Balancing Me and Others
Togetherness can become a double-edged sword. The expectations that bind us together can sometimes feel like invisible strings pulling us in directions we never chose. We strive to be the devoted child, the reliable friend, the supportive partner—all while trying to carve out space for our personal dreams.
This tension is not unique to any one person. It exists in all of us, woven into the social fabric that shapes our lives. And yet, acknowledging this reality can be the first step towards empowerment—not just for ourselves, but for those around us.
Empowerment is not about rejecting the collective but about finding a way to exist authentically within it. Setting healthy boundaries allows us to benefit from togetherness without losing our personal identity. Boundaries don’t mean disconnection; they help sustain relationships in a way that feels balanced.
True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are.
-Brené Brown
Steps for Collective Empowerment
True empowerment does not require us to choose between independence and collectivism; it invites us to find harmony between the two. Here’s how we can take steps toward collective empowerment:
Clarify Your Boundaries – Recognize where support ends and self-sacrifice begins. Setting gentle but firm boundaries allows us to give without losing ourselves.
Redefine Success – Instead of viewing empowerment as an individual pursuit, reframe it as a shared experience where we uplift one another.
Communicate Openly – Honest conversations about needs and expectations help prevent misunderstandings and foster deeper connections.
Make Space for Both Giving and Receiving – Allow yourself to ask for help as much as you offer it. Strength is built through reciprocity, not just resilience.
Use Tools for Clarity – The goal planner can be a helpful way to structure priorities, ensuring that personal aspirations and external commitments coexist meaningfully. By setting small, manageable goals, we create a path where personal growth aligns with collective well-being.
The Goal Planner by The Self Hug
Journaling Prompts for Reflection
Journaling can help us navigate the balance between personal empowerment and collective belonging. Here are some prompts to reflect on:
What are my core values, and how do they align or conflict with my community's expectations?
Where do I need to set better boundaries so I can show up as my best self in my relationships?
What kind of support do I need to feel empowered, and how can I communicate that?
In what ways has my community been a source of empowerment for me, and how can I contribute to this collective strength?
Empowerment is not about standing apart but about standing strong—together. Let’s redefine what it means to be empowered, not as a solitary pursuit, but as a journey shared with those who walk alongside us.
About Our Author
Yanitrasari Widyastuti is a mental health therapist and wellness consultant with a background in psychology and counselling, dedicated to empowering others on their journey to well-being. She believes in the power of empathy to inspire self-discovery and growth. Based in Jakarta, Indonesia, she begins her day with a morning walk to her favorite spot for coffee, embracing small rituals that ground her in the present.
