Unseen Forces Influencing Our Resilience
When we look for health tips, we’re often flooded with ideas about diets, exercise routines, or the latest self-care trends. Just like we invest in our physical strength, building inner strength or resilience is essential. But with so many options out there, how do we know which ones are truly worth focusing on?
The truth is, cultivating resilience isn’t about adopting complex routines or brand-new techniques. Often, the most powerful tools are the simplest ones we already carry within us—our breath, our presence in the moment, and the way we speak to ourselves. These may seem ordinary, but by tuning into these everyday practices, we can begin to build a lasting foundation of resilience.
Image by Emilia Rose
The pattern of our breath.
Take a moment to notice your breath. Is it shallow or deep? Are you holding it, or does it flow naturally? Before I invited you to observe, were you even aware of how you were breathing?
Our breath connects us to what’s happening around us and within us. It’s a powerful indicator of our mental state: when we’re anxious, our breathing quickens and shortens; when calm, it slows and becomes more rhythmic. Our breath can tell us a lot about how we’re feeling—if we take the time to listen.
This connection works both ways. While our body can signal us, we can also use our breath to communicate with ourselves. Dr. Yewande Pearce highlights research showing that intentional breathing can influence perception, cognition, and emotion. Simply put, when we slow and control our breathing, it’s like sending a message to our nervous system that we’re safe.
Try this: When you’re feeling overwhelmed, take a few slow, deep breaths, extending your exhale longer than your inhale. This simple technique helps signal your body to relax, easing stress. With regular practice, mindful breathing builds resilience by strengthening your body’s natural ability to find calm in challenging situations.
Noticing what's around you.
If you’re holding your phone right now, take a second to notice its weight and texture. Or perhaps feel the support of the chair or ground beneath you. What about the sounds in the background?
These small moments of awareness may seem minor, but they’re powerfully grounding. When we pause to notice sensations and details, we anchor ourselves in the present, helping to counter the pull of autopilot mode.
This mindful awareness is a cornerstone of inner strength, giving us control over where we place our attention. Rather than automatically reacting to every notification or impulse, taking a moment to ground ourselves creates a space to choose how we respond. This pause allows us to respond with intention rather than react out of habit, helping us stay calm and steady, even in tough situations.
Try this: Set aside a moment each day to try a “5-4-3-2-1” grounding exercise. Notice 5 things you can see (whether big or small, close or far away), 4 things you can feel (like the texture of your clothing, surface beneath you, or the temperature of the air), 3 sounds you can hear (in your background or even the sound of your breathing), 2 scents (or think of two favourites if none are nearby), and 1 thing you can taste. This simple practice doesn’t require any special setup but can interrupt spiralling thoughts and bring you back to the present.
The way we speak to ourselves.
Language is a uniquely human tool, helping us connect with others—and also with ourselves through our inner dialogue. But how often do we notice what we’re saying in our own minds? If you could pinpoint one or two things you often tell yourself, what would they be? And in what tone do you speak to yourself?
The way we talk to ourselves shapes our beliefs and how we react to the world. When we’re critical or harsh, those negative messages sink in over time, weakening our inner strength. Instead, practising self-compassion in our inner dialogue provides a steady, supportive foundation from within. When we’re kind and understanding with ourselves, we’re better able to face challenges without being weighed down by self-criticism.
Try this: When you catch yourself thinking in unkind or discouraging terms, pause and rephrase your thoughts as if you were speaking to a friend. Imagine offering yourself the same kindness and encouragement you’d give to someone you care about.
As I have written in my previous article, resilience is a journey, a continuous effort to build inner strength. These small, consistent acts of self-compassion and mindfulness help us face life’s challenges with greater calm, confidence, and adaptability.
The Goal Planner by The Self Hug
To support you in building a consistent habit of nurturing your inner strength, The Goal Planner might be a helpful companion on this journey. With tools like the SMART goal-setting technique (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound), this planner guides you in breaking down your aspirations into clear and achievable steps that fit into your daily routine. It’s a gentle way to stay on track with the habits that matter most, offering support as you continuously build your inner strength.
About Our Author
Yanitrasari Widyastuti is a mental health therapist and wellness consultant with a background in psychology and counselling, dedicated to empowering others on their journey to well-being. She believes in the power of empathy to inspire self-discovery and growth. Based in Jakarta, Indonesia, she begins her day with a morning walk to her favourite spot for coffee, embracing small rituals that ground her in the present.
