Love Yourself Better: Key to Rediscover Love
Writing about love in February–the so-called “month of love” –brings up the classic question: what is love, really? We hear so many definitions–love is patience, love is sacrifice, love is a choice. But despite all these definitions, something about them feels incomplete.
Maybe love isn’t something we define once and for all. Because our experiences shape our emotions, love will never feel the same for everyone. Maybe love is something we experience in our own way. And that’s the beauty of it–love is deeply personal, unique, and always evolving.
One thing that psychology tells us is that love isn’t just one emotion–it’s a mix of many positive emotions. And just like joy, gratitude, and hope, love can broaden and build our lives. For example, gratitude practice is widely known for its ability to improve well-being. The reason for that is because the more we practice gratitude, the more we appreciate ourselves. And with self-appreciation comes confidence, self-acceptance, and deeper self-love.
Love, in this way, isn’t just a feeling. It creates a ripple effect—shaping our mindset, influencing our emotions, and guiding our behaviors in ever-expanding ways.
This is where the Broaden and Build Theory offers a beautiful perspective on love.
Love That Grows With You
When I learn about this framework, I realized that this theory does not limit love to a rigid definition. Instead, it embraces love as something dynamic–something that grows through our experiences. Love, be it romantic, platonic, or self-love, isn’t a fixed destination. It is a process.
According to this theory, positive emotions expand our awareness, helping us see more possibilities and approach life with an open mind. Over time, this mindset builds emotional resilience–like an investment in our future selves. The more we cultivate positive emotions in our lives, the stronger and more naturally they come to us.
Just like gratitude sparks appreciation and builds self-acceptance, compassion sets off a ripple that reaches beyond us. The more we nurture love within, the more it flows outward, allowing us to receive and give love in healthier, more fulfilling ways.
The Upward Spiral of Self-Love
In a research that shows how love is an embodiment of different positive emotions, suggests that the feeling of love is broadened when we create space to be playful, explore, and savor experiences with loved ones. But I believe this also applies to how we love ourselves. Because if love is an evolving process, then self-love requires the same care and attention.
Loving yourself better isn’t about perfection–it’s about presence. One of the simplest yet most powerful ways to nurture self-love is through journaling. Journaling is more than just putting words on a page–it’s a space to explore your inner world with curiosity, embrace self-expression with playfulness, and savor moments of self-discovery. With thoughtful prompts and reflections, tools like the Self-Discovery Journal help guide you through this process, allowing you to engage with yourself in a way that is open, nonjudgmental, and filled with possibility–just like love itself.
Embrace your journey with love and curiosity. Discover The Self Hug’s Self-Discovery Journal—a gentle space for you to explore, reflect, and grow.
Through journaling practice, you gently uncover the layers of your heart and mind, giving yourself the freedom to explore your inner world with curiosity, express your truth with openness, and cherish the quiet moments of self-discovery. With each page, the journey deepens–a reminder that love is not something to be earned but something that has always existed within you, waiting to be seen.
About Our Author
Yanitrasari Widyastuti is a mental health therapist and wellness consultant with a background in psychology and counselling, dedicated to empowering others on their journey to well-being. She believes in the power of empathy to inspire self-discovery and growth. Based in Jakarta, Indonesia, she begins her day with a morning walk to her favorite spot for coffee, embracing small rituals that ground her in the present.
